how we move from a to b, it can't be up to me..

...coz you don't know who I was before.

I swear, I still can't believe that guy used to be in Degrassi.

I think I'll start off this blog by saying that I finally quit my job & I must say that it was the most awkward conversation of my life. "Hello there, I'm quitting." Of course, I'd never quit a job unless I had another job in line. Yes, I got a call back from the office job I've been praying for. I, honestly, thought that I bombed my interview because the interviewer looked like she was giving me hate stares. &the interview ended w/ her saying that she'd call me to let me know whether or not I get the job the next day. But yes, I got the job & I start tomorrow already. I'm just happy that I get my own cubicle.

I'm definitely goinna miss Bes Buy, though. Shoot me for saying that but I'll miss the people mos definitely. I got kinna sad earlier today when some of my coworkers texted and called me to ask why I quit. I sat there for a good 5 minutes thinking to myself, "what the fuck have I done?" & then I thought about it and I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

I guess you can say the thought of moving on scares me. Sometimes, I think about how much I've grown over the past two years especially and how I've managed to be on my own and support myself, of course with the help of my parents as well. It's a crazy thought, and sometimes I wish I was just a kid again. I don't know. I'm fuckin weird.

&you...you still stay on my mind. It's only been a few months and I still think of the shouldas, couldas, and wouldas. I hate how what we have is so helpless right now but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

snap ya fingaz..

Damn, it seems like forever since I last blogged. I guess I've just been too busy w/ work&school. I told you.. it's taking over my life.

My weekend started early this week, on Thursday. Tonic had an event at our newest venue, Club NV. The club was wayy more crackin than the one on Tuesday. I don't think I've ever been that fucked up at the club. I swear tho, the first 30-40mins of the club..I couldn't even walk straight. I don't think I've had that much fun at a club in awhile. After the club, we all just chilled at Ju's house and drank even more. Woke up and felt like shit so I didn't go to my first class.

Friday; Took a nap after school and then got picked up by Marv. We didn't know what else to do so we went to the movies &watched Monsters Vs. Alien in 3D. Shit was hella sick. Hahaa. I think me&Marv enjoyed the movie more than the little kids did. After the movie, we went home and got ready to go to SanJo. Once again, it was a success even though the cops came around 130ish. Got some food, then I headed over to Ju's. Chilled there, watched Twilight & everyone except me KTFOd so I took some shots by myself. -_- then I KTFOd.

Saturday; Woke up hungry for some odd reason so me&Lumz got some Kamameshi. Gahdamn, I love their beef teriyaki. Went home after that around 2 or 3ish & recovered for the rest of the day til Joel woke me up to have dinner at 8. Got ready &then we went to BJs. Then, I got dropped off at Ju's to meet up w/ the weekenders. We didn't really know what to do so then we went to some party in the Eastbay. I must've taken 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10..shots?I lost count but whatever. Shit was pretty fun, I must admit. We all went to Arujo's after then home.

&now it's Sunday and I'm writing this blog right now because I'm still lightweight drunk and I can't sleep. The past few weekends were pretty crazy but I think this tops all of them. Why can't all weekends be like this?

I think I'll try to sleep one more time. Goodnight.

superstar..

Let me just say that this weekend was very EVENTFUL. (:

Friday; I went to the club w/ the weekenders minus Bradley. ): We all missed him dearly as you can tell by our aways. The club was coo but tell me why there were hella people there, tho? Like it felt like a motha fuckin sauna up in there. Yeah, that was kind of gross. Then, we ate at Denny's and killed the bottles. Haha, we don't waste.

Saturday; It was Juju's birthday so after we all recovered from the previous night, around 8pm the next day, we got ready for part2. Tell me why we had hella options that night? We decided to kick it at Joel's and brought over some Nuvo & fat ass bottle of Bacardi. I think I can say that Nuvo is my new favorite bitch drink even though it tastes like pink lemonade with like a drop of alcohol in it. Seriously though, I forgot how much of a creeper Bacardi is because after the the table dancing portion of the night, I blanked out for a good moment and then next thing I knew..I was chillen in some bath tub?! Then I remember getting up and drinking some more. What a fucking night.

Sunday; I got home from the party around 6am? And went to sleep for a good 2 and a half hours til I had to get ready for work. I got to work at 10 and my manager sent me home hella early cause she knew what was up. Haha! I can't even explain how happy I was to get sent home.

I'm so ready for this weekend.

g... double O... D - GOOD

Another day, another blog.

So, going to school was a complete waste because I didn't get to makeup shit. Haha. I sat in History class listening to my teacher talk about this book he's reading, like that's suppose to help me fuckin understand US History. I swear, he should just have a class named after him because I've only been learning about his life. Left a little after class was over & got food w/ Downie. I don't know, I wasn't myself this morning. I guess I was just mad cause I feel as if work and school take over my life. Then, I realized that I'm too fuckin selfish. Hahaa. There should always be a balance between work&play. & lately, it's just been about PLAY.

I went to work for the first time in awhile, awhile meaning 3 days. Yes, that's awhile for me now. Of course, work was slow as hell & I just so happen to get 8hr shifts when no customers come in. So, I sat at the desk making paper planes. Hella drama later on that night tho. Gahdd, work is so full of drama.

&now I'm at home, 3 hours later..

I should be studying for my midterms but I'm letting my brain rest. I'll probably just wakeup really early in the am, tmo. Hah.like that's gonna work tho. Wing it? I think I must.

just can't find the words..

&this is exactly why I love blogging..

Coz I get to keep track of the stupid shit I do & look back at it a few years after.

Yes, I found my old Xanga.

Xanga.com/alley3s0nme

just can't find the words..

&this is exactly why I love blogging..

Coz I get to keep track of the stupid shit I do & look back at it a few years after.

Yes, I found my old Xanga.

Xanga.com/alley3s0nme

just like me..

So, everyone is migrating to tumblr coz it's cooler. I think I'll stick to blogspot for now because I'm too lazy to make another account.

So, my face is getting back to normal. Finally, right? Yeah, I probably overreacted over the past few days but shit, who wouldn't freak out if they woke up one day and looked like fuckin Shamu? Yes, it was hard for me to deal, physically and emotionally. Haha, but yes..the swelling has greatly reduced and my nose is just really red. I should be fine by this weekend.

You know what I hate about being sick besides aches and not being able to taste food? I hate being restricted to my own room, and I'm so not used to being home. Let me tell you, though. You get a lot of thinking done when you're stuck at home for 2 1/2 days straight.

I thought about my mommy and daddy and how I miss being taken care of. I thought about my friends and how all of us have changed even in the smallest form. I thought about school and what I'm doing with my life. I thought about past relationships, and what I did or didn't do to make it not work.

Yeah, I thought about some pretty deep shit. I don't know, maybe it's was the meds talking. I was pretty high off the painkillers.

At least it's Wednesday tomorrow. I need to party my ass off this weeekend.

&I promise this shit is legit..

This weekend was..something else.

We went clubbing two nights in a row on Thursday&Friday. Almost got into a fight on Thursday over some dumb shit. Abyss was coo, though. Different crowd.

Friday; That was prolly the highlight of my weekend. Went to the pink party with the weekenders + Debb&Marvelene. Yes, my girls actually came out w/ me. Chilled at Randy's after as usual and drank some more. Crazy ass night.

Saturday; That's when I started hella downing. -_- I spent the whole day recovering in my bed and theni worked that 5 to 9 shift. I don't think I've ever not want to be at work that bad, ever. Ugh. Yeah, work was all bad. I don't know how they did it but my weekenders managed to get me outta bed and made me kill the Bacardi. Yeah, that wasn't so smart.

Why? Coz today is Sunday and I feel completely shitty. My face is numb, I have a headache and I'm hurting all over. I think I might even have to go to the hospital. "/ hopefully I get better by this Friday.

Insomnia

Yeah, it's 2am right now and I should really be sleeping because I have school at 8. I don't know, I was half asleep but then I just felt the sudden urge to blog.

You know how after high school, people tell you "life is different after high school, everyone goes their separate ways", and you look at them like they're crazy? Yeah, I didn't believe in those people before but now that I think about it..those people were right. I don't hang out with the same people as before except for some people and I wonder to myself sometimes, what happened? I don't want to blame anyone because I don't think it's anyone's fault to begin with. I think after high school, you really do just do you. I sometimes miss how things used to be but then again, I wouldn't trade what I have right now for the world. I'm right where I need to be.

I love my friends&family.

coz I know that a brother got needs tonight..

I think I spent the most time on homework today, ever since this semester started. That's what I fuckin get for procrastinating. -_- I spent this whole day reading a book which is partially a love story just to find out that the girl and the guy don't end up together. I'm kind of disappointed, and my eyes hurt like hell.

Yeah, I didn't go to class, again, but foreal this time, I'm not goinna slack off anymore. I had a talk with my teachers today and I'm not too far behind. I just have to catch up with the reading to maintain my good grades.

Why does this week seem to be going hella slow? It's only Wednesday tomorrow, and I'm already stressing out. Well, at least there's no school tomorrow. I'm working that death shift, though. -_-

Weekend, hurry up.

might as well give me a kiss, if we keep touching like this..

Ok, so last night most definitely made up for the night before. We went to Anthony's party in San Jo & I must say that I was impressed. &it takes a whole lot to impress the fuck out of me. Haa, I felt like I was in a club. So, someone clogged the toilet and then the party was over. I looked at my watch and I was like, "wtf? It's 3?". Hella forgot about daylight savings, bruh.

Then after that we cut then headed over to Joel's. All I remember is finishing off the bottle of Chivas Regal & some table dancing.

My goodness, I need more nights like this.

MOLLYWOP! Hahaa.

coz when you was down & out, I was still around..

So, what exactly happened last night? Don't ask me. I'm trying to forget.

These past weeks have been rough on me, and for once, I was happy to have all my girls and my boys with me. I don't know, things don't ever work in my favor anymore. It sucks. Maybe it's a sign that I should move back to Vegas. The thought is scary but I feel I should be there more than I should be here. School is getting to me, work sucks, the party scene is getting old, and the list goes on..I honestly don't know if I'm just downing hella bad or what? But this feeling sucks. I hate it.

sweat pants, hair tied, chillen w/ no makeup on.

I swear, time goes by hella fast now that I practically work every day. It's the same routine every day - school, work til the weekend, then party my ass off. Then, it's a new week all over again.

It's funny how I set so many goals at the beginning of the school semester but I never follow through w/ plans. I do so good in like my ...first 3 weeks? And then I just begin not to care as much. School is just so pointless at times. Like seriously, I don't even have time for anything anymore.

I love it how when I see people whom I haven't seen in awhile ask me "so, how's the club life?" as their first question. Like geez, not even a "how are you?" and clubbing isn't all I do. I actually work, go to school, and support myself, thank you. The club and the party life is just where I release my physical and emotional stress out.

This weekend should be interesting.

Tell me what they know about my love..

Today was good to me. My first class went by hella fast then I went to go eat at Denny's with Debb. My last class was cancelled, and I was kinna mad cause I actually did my homework this time. -_- I went to work right after and it was a chill ass day. It's definitely becoming more demanding than ever, and at times I must admit that it gets pretty stressful but I've learned how to deal with pressure like this. After work, I bought some speakers and stuff for myself. Well, shit, I gotta spoil myself, too.

I still can't help but feel incomplete at times. Slowly picking up myself day by day. Baby steps.

swing my way..

So, I'm really writing this blog entry at 6am, tho. -_-

Today was a good day, I must admit. My first class was cancelled, I had some Sprinkles cupcakes, and work wasn't that boring. Can I just say that Sprinkles is fuckin crackin?

Work has become more challenging. I kind of like it, though, because I love a challenge. It keeps me active but It's going to take a hell of a lot of getting used to.

Last weekend was crazy, though. Never again. I'm soo ready for this weekend.

don't tiptoe around my feelings..

Today must have been the laziest day of my life because I for real didn't do SHIT! I woke up around 1ish, ate, watched the Sex&the City DVDs, slept, listened to my music, slept, ate dinner, read a magazine, then slept, again. I guess it's okay to take a personal day once in awhile. I just hate the feeling of being unproductive, though.

Today kind of made me feel better. How I felt went I came home this morning was the worst, and I didn't stop crying until this evening. My eyes are so swollen that I can barely open them. The worst is over, though.

Oh, and you know that I'm going to miss you. The good times at least. Seriously though, when the bad outweighs the good, why would I even want that for myself? I'm too grown to play that kiddie shit. So, I thought long and hard last night..and I hate how I've been acting because of this. Hella falling behind school, slacking off at work, droppin' them other dudes just for YOU. I'M GONNA MISS YOU, but I MISSED MYSELF more.

P.S. I'm too independent for yo ass, anyways.

Wondering why I let it get the best of me...when I gave the best of me..

Emo blog but whatever..

I could really use some cheering up right now. I haven't felt this down since..I can't even remember? I've probably been through worse shit but for some reason, this is just getting to me hella bad.

I guess it's just everything summed up. Maybe that's why I feel this way. School's been challenging, work has been stressful, and on top of this shit that I gotta handle..this just had to happen. I thought crying would make it go away but the more I do..the more I just wanna break down.

And you, if I can't even depend on you to be there for me as a friend..then how the hell am I supposed to see you as anything more? Don't trip about me now though, you should've been doing that from the get. Kick rocks.