Productive

It's about that time of the semester. Oh yes, finals week. I don't know, there's just something about finals week that gets me even more stressed than I am even though I've pretty much secured my standings in each class. The only thing I'm prolly scared of as of right now is my English paper on Othello because it determines whether or not I maintain my above 3.0 gpa. It's funny how I'm stressing off whether or not I get an A in that class when about a month ago, I was a step away from being dropped from all my classes. Good girl act? Nah, this little kitty has traded in the club for the library. At least for now...

Finals week also means I'm getting ready for my annual trip to see the parents in Vegas. About a year ago, I was crying because I did not want to leave the bay at all. Now, I'm pretty excited to just get away from all the stress building up. My mini getaway last weekend was cool, but I really need to leave to get some thinking done. I think stress has just become my new best friend. Like they say, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." Some words I continue to live by.

Shit has definitely been building up in my life as far as school, work, family, and even my friends. I don't wanna say that everything is falling apart, because in reality, it's actually put me back together. I've slowly gotten to where I wanna be with school and everything but it's just a matter of keeping my focus on that as well as other aspects in my life.

Whether or not I do come back for the fall is completely up to me according to my parents. It's for me to decide whether or not I wanna keep running away form everything again or just grow up and deal. Whatever happens by the time vacay is over, I'm sure it's gonna change everything. Every single time I've been to Vegas, I'd come back in the fall and something would always be different. Hm, or maybe I'm just different. That should be interesting.

I think I'm gonna lay low in the meantime.

xoxo,

A

Patron, tequila

This week has been pretty good to me, I must say.

Recap;

Got to El Aye around 1230ish, 1:00 and chilled til the next day. Chill trip so far until the Glow in the Dark / Highlighter party. I damn sure wasn't expecting all of that. Ha. I just love how there's a different theme for each parlay. Started the night off by using the beer bong. I think I did pretty well for my first time. Shit comes at you hella fast, though. Mhm, I said it. 11 o' clockish and I was just playing some beer pong with some strangers and can I just say that I'm hella raw in beer pong? Left the garage because I was pretty tipsy off some beer and went inside to see hella people arriving. Chilled on the couch for a lil bit and next thing you know, BOOM. I was gone off that LTD. I don't think I've ever been that ova since that one night after NV. The party really felt like a dream because it was all dark and smokey, and everyone's face was just a blur. I remember just glancing at my phone to check the time, and I realized it was already 4. wtf. I seriously didn't want that night to end. The next day, we went to irvine to explore and then eat. Felt hella drained after that so we headed home.

Other that that, I've been doing pretty good with school. Went from C's to A's in all my classes, and i've actually caught up with all the homework. Jefferson School District is also willing to give me my job back as a P.E. Aide, that is if I'm able to come back for the fall semester.

I'm pretty excited about Vegas because that means laying by my pool all summer, mom's cooking, and no work or school. Oh, and my upcoming birthday, too. AHEM.

I really hope my parents let me come back for the fall, and hopefully they see that I'm doing better than in the past few months. Either way, it feels like a fresh new start for me.

<3

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

--Marilyn Monroe

Hop up out the bed..

turn my swag on. Yeahhhhh! I haven't been blogging for the past two days because I've been too busy with school. Yeah, school. It sucks to be suspended from work but in a weird way, I'm hella happy that I did because I've had time to really relax this whole week. I love the feeling of waking up and knowing that I don't have work. I also got to catch up with school, and I think I'm actually back on track. There's about 2 more weeks left of school plus finals week, and then I'm dunzoo.

This week has been a rollercoaster. I've had some highs and lows this week, as well as some events that are out of my control now. I've strengthen some friendships and some friendships are not as strong as they used to be. I've finally found that balance between school, work, and the nightlife. I've learned some lessons this week that I'll definitely carry on with me forever. I've learned that I can't always have it my way and change is gonna happen no matter what you do. I've learned to deal with change, and not to fear it because things are constantly changing. I just didn't think it would hit me this fast.


I'm so excited for summer vacay because that means I'll be going to Vegas soon and that I'm turning 20 soon ! I've definitely missed my family and the house, the pool, the outlets, the malls, ummm..Circus Circus? Ha. I can't wait to just relax and do nothing for a good month.

I just want to thank everyone who's been there for me these past weeks. I love all of you.

I forgot how it is to be sober.

Damn, I feel like I never go on this shit anymore. I guess I've just been THAT busy. Well, for all of you guys who have been wondering what I've been up to, here you go..

Thursday 4/16; Went to Glaskat w/ Lumz & Cece hella last minute just coz we're so used to partying from Thurs til Saturdays and occasionally Sundays. I wanted to go coz I haven't been to Glaskat in hella long. The last time I went was that for that whack ass Pajama party back in summer 08. I remember because that was the last club I went to before I saw my parents in Vegas for summer vacay. Man oh man, do I have so many memories of shit happening at he club. (: club was just chill but I'm glad I kind of got to pre-party before El Aye.

Friday; Chill ass day. Did some last minute shopping after school for SoCal. Day was going pretty good til I got rear ended by some dumb ass bitches. Can't believe they tried to blame that shit on me, too. People these days need to learn how to drive. Took them mother fuckas' info and then left to pick up my check & then to SoCal.

Saturday; The Weekenders + Randy got to SoCal around 12ish? We wanted to go to the club but it was kinna late so we just rested up. Had some of the most randomest convos that night and then woke up around 10ish? 11ish? Went to go shop for a lil bit at Tyler Mall & Victoria Gardens and ate at Kabuki's. Got home, got ready, got faded. LOL! Why everyone was matching & shit tho? Rolled up to this event that Sha invited us to. Apparently, our swag was different - according to some guy who sat at our table. Whatev, I guess it was a compliment. Shit waas chill, but the after party was intense. Of course, the Weekenders had the spotlight as usual.

Sunday; I'm assuming I passed out on the floor next to the fire place coz that's where I woke up? Went to go grab something to eat in my boxers, even though I didn't have much of an appetite. Got ready and headed back to the Bay by early afternoon. Played some funny games on the car ride home. I realized that it was 420 by that midnight so I stayed up for a midnight blunt.

Monday; Went to school, high. Went to work, high. Went to Randy's, got even more fucked up. Went to the beach with the girls and CB Tone & Randy and Krystal. Went back to the house and I was stuck like woah. Edibles fuck me up, foreal.

That was some weekend. I love my life, foreal.

I'm so ready for this weekend..

I feel like I'm high right now because I'm soo tired and I feel like can KO at anytime because I'm so fuckin tired from work.

Let's see, this weekend..I...partied w/ the weekenders. Shame on you, you should already know by now. Well lemme "elaborate on that" as Cece would usually say.

Thurs; My weekend started on Thursday. Didn't really know what to expect of that night when I woke but then Jency's texted me at 4 telling me to be ready in 4 hrs because we were going to Sac. Couldn't figure out what to wear but I just decided to go w/ my fave yellow dress. I swear, I always have a crackin ass time whenever I wear that dress. (: Fuckin had Kareoke night in the car during the ride there then started pre-gaming once we got to Empire. I must say that it's probably my new favorite venue, next to The Mist. Club went by hella fast, tho. Don't remember much from that night except for takin hella pictures and being in the cages. Went to IHop after we got back to the city then went home.

Friday; Woke up w/ hella bruised all over my bod. Guess you can say I had a fun night. Chilled at granny's house til Jency's bday dinner and ate offa everyone's plate. (: Headed to SJ after for John Ross's party and got pretty drunk, not fucked up but just enough. Left for San Leandro after that then chilled there for a lil bit til we went back home.

Saturday; Worked til 7. Got off and went straight home to start getting ready for Bikini Massive aka Jency&Dina's bday party. Took hella shots of Patron&Bacardi but didn't get fucked up to my surprise. I think that was probably the first night that I was the soberest one out of all of us. Haha. I still had fun. When do I not have fun?

Sunday; Called in sick because I was hella tired the nxt morning and was running on 3 hrs of sleep. Luckily, the computers were down so they sent everyone home anyways. Stayed at home all day while everyone spent Easter Sunday w/ their fams. I was kinna disappointed because I wanted to take Easter Bunny photos. "/ Finished our group proj for English then got picked up by Rod & kicked it w/ him for a bit. Watched Walk Hard&Requiem of a Dream at his new spot, zooted. Haha. The two best movies to watch when you're high. Well, I thought so last night.

I'm so ready for this weekend, tho.

zooooted.

My title explains it all. Honestly, I'm soo fucking high now..it's ridiculous.

Sunday; Woke up to Jency's text because she wanted to go to church. Went to the mall real quick then stopped by Ant's BBQ. That's how you know we're savs..we get drunk off patron in the daylight. Stopped by Best Buy then thought long&hard about what to do for her bday..so we decided to have a telly. Telly was fun. A good amount of people came thrugh and I was kinna buzzed. Hella remember waking up the next morning and going "fuck, I have work in 2 hrs." I really hate that feeling but at the same time I find it hella funny.

I've been doin good these past 3 days with work. I just love how my new job keeps me focused&on top of my shit. But so far, I love my new job.

I could live like this forever. Well, maybe not forever, but I mean..I could keep doing this for now. I love the way my life is going. I've got the best friends, the best parents, good grades, a good job, my weekenders..I think I'm good with where I am right now.

Reality Check.

These past two nights were definitely something else.

Thursday; Got food w/ Debb after she got off from work then headed home to get ready to Abyss with the Weekenders. Wasn't really in club mode but I went anyways because it's Jency's bday weekend and I had to celebrate getting a new job. Haha. Club was whack but I still made the most out of it. I always find a way to have fun. Headed over to Jullian's place after with everyone else and drank some more, if you hadn't guessed already. All I remember is falling on my ass and bruising it. I really need to calm down on the drinking.

Friday; Felt hella tired the whole day and was still slightly recovering from the night before. Really didn't feel like going because I didn't have anything to wear but my loves, Debb, Marv & Randy went so I wanted to go. Plus, it's still Jency's bday weekend. Shit was full of drama but I thought the club was pretty crackin. Like I said, I always make the most out of my weekends. Chilled at Randy's this time and got high as fuck. I lost count of how many blunts we smoked. I swear I love STDing (smoke, thizz & drank). Shit was weird though, coz I don't even remember being fucked up. I was just chillen the whole night.

My night was going pretty well until one incident occured. It's funny coz YOU were probably too fucked up to even remember it happening. But bottom line is..it happened. & it sucks that it had to happen that way. And if it ain't obvious enough that you have to even IM me to ask...yes, I'm mad.

I'm done. I'm done w/ partying/going out for awhile.

25 Random Things About Me

I don't have a facebook (nor will I ever give into making one) so I'll do my 25 on here.

1. I can't do my homework in the light. I've tried but it seems like I think better in the night time. I don't know, I like to call it the "Batman Syndrome" because I don't do anything, in terms of homework, until the sun goes down. Maybe that's why I can't focus in class.

2. I have a tendency to buy nice things and never use them. Like my Louis, for example..I got it after graduation which was like almost 2 years ago? &I think I've only used it once &that was Valentines Day of last year. I guess I'm too scared I'll damage it or something.

3. I love Popeye's fried chicken but I only eat the skin. &that's it. Yeah, even my family thinks it's weird and my grandma gets hella mad that I waste food. Oh, and I'm pretty picky about my chicken, too.

4. Most people know already but I'm allergic to fish. Last time I accidentally ate fish, my face blew up and I looked like Quasimodo for about a week. So, please don't feed me anything with fish in it. It's not a pretty sight.

5. I love to party... (Haha, well that was NO secret)...but there would be nights when I'd just like to stay in and just order hella food and watch movies all night. Thank God for Chinese food on those lazy night.

6. My WEEKENDERS (aka Jency, Maria, Brad & Cece) keep me sane. No joke. I think that's why I look forward to my weekends. Ohmy, no homes, tho.

7. I think school can be a joke sometimes. Scratch that. I think it's a joke most of the time. I just don't understand how I need to take certain classes when they don't relate at all to my major.

8. I miss living in Vegas, sometimes. I don't know if it's Vegas that I miss or if it's living with my parents. Maybe it's my pool and my big ass room that I miss. I swear, life would be so much easier if I just moved back. What can I say tho, I love the BAY.

9. I'm a geek at heart. I love comic books and I attend those conventions when they're in town. I'm the one dressed up as Wonder Woman. Just kidding about the last part. I really collect comic books, tho.

10. I love sports especially Softball, Volleyball, Flag Football and Basketball too, sometimes. I grew up with all male cousins so I was never really a fan of Barbie.

11. I hate it when people make that noise when they eat bananas. That smacking sound that goes, "tsp, tsp". My cousin makes that sound when he eats and it bugs the shit outta me.

12. I hate the Lakers but I think Kobe is hella raw.

13. I just saw a shirt today that says, "I'ma Chris Brown a bitch". I think it's sad that his name became a verb. What's next? "That bitch Rihanna'd me"? People are funny.

14. I wanna get more tats & be hella tatted up like Tila. Well, maybe not that crazy but I do want another one. Tats are addicting. &my grandma saw my tats for the first time last week &I thought she was gonna cry. ): oh well, she probably forgot that have them by now.

15. I think I have OCD sometimes. Like, when I leave for school in the morning, I have to go back at least twice to make sure that I locked the door.

16. I love being SINGLE. It's funny, because two years ago I probably could have never pictured myself to be single. I admit that I do miss the comfort sometimes but then again, I think about where I'm at in life &I really don't think I could be in a relationship right now. &I wouldn't be able to do some of the stuff I do now. =X

17. I think I have insomnia, too. I have the hardest time falling asleep &I've had this problem ever since I was really young. Like I said, the Batman Syndrome.

18. I feel so young because everyone around me is turning 20 or even 21 before me. ):

19. I love my job because I get my own cubicle. &in my down time, I like to draw stick figures in the back of my notebook.

20. Any guy that can watch The City or Gossip Girl with me wins points in my book.

21. I miss Doug. That was the best cartoon show ever. & what ever happened to Boy Meets World? They don't show reruns anymore.

22. I think VH1 needs to stop it with the reality dating shows. Ray J can keep his though. I think he's HOT.

23. I just spent $100 on 50 pairs of fake eye lashes. That's the closest I'll ever get to looking like Kim Kardashian. ):

24. I've always wondered what it would be like to join the Real World. I'd prolly be the bitch fighting with everyone just because.

25. "I love getting my mouth enveloped.." I also love my friends&family. I love my life, bitch.

how we move from a to b, it can't be up to me..

...coz you don't know who I was before.

I swear, I still can't believe that guy used to be in Degrassi.

I think I'll start off this blog by saying that I finally quit my job & I must say that it was the most awkward conversation of my life. "Hello there, I'm quitting." Of course, I'd never quit a job unless I had another job in line. Yes, I got a call back from the office job I've been praying for. I, honestly, thought that I bombed my interview because the interviewer looked like she was giving me hate stares. &the interview ended w/ her saying that she'd call me to let me know whether or not I get the job the next day. But yes, I got the job & I start tomorrow already. I'm just happy that I get my own cubicle.

I'm definitely goinna miss Bes Buy, though. Shoot me for saying that but I'll miss the people mos definitely. I got kinna sad earlier today when some of my coworkers texted and called me to ask why I quit. I sat there for a good 5 minutes thinking to myself, "what the fuck have I done?" & then I thought about it and I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

I guess you can say the thought of moving on scares me. Sometimes, I think about how much I've grown over the past two years especially and how I've managed to be on my own and support myself, of course with the help of my parents as well. It's a crazy thought, and sometimes I wish I was just a kid again. I don't know. I'm fuckin weird.

&you...you still stay on my mind. It's only been a few months and I still think of the shouldas, couldas, and wouldas. I hate how what we have is so helpless right now but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

snap ya fingaz..

Damn, it seems like forever since I last blogged. I guess I've just been too busy w/ work&school. I told you.. it's taking over my life.

My weekend started early this week, on Thursday. Tonic had an event at our newest venue, Club NV. The club was wayy more crackin than the one on Tuesday. I don't think I've ever been that fucked up at the club. I swear tho, the first 30-40mins of the club..I couldn't even walk straight. I don't think I've had that much fun at a club in awhile. After the club, we all just chilled at Ju's house and drank even more. Woke up and felt like shit so I didn't go to my first class.

Friday; Took a nap after school and then got picked up by Marv. We didn't know what else to do so we went to the movies &watched Monsters Vs. Alien in 3D. Shit was hella sick. Hahaa. I think me&Marv enjoyed the movie more than the little kids did. After the movie, we went home and got ready to go to SanJo. Once again, it was a success even though the cops came around 130ish. Got some food, then I headed over to Ju's. Chilled there, watched Twilight & everyone except me KTFOd so I took some shots by myself. -_- then I KTFOd.

Saturday; Woke up hungry for some odd reason so me&Lumz got some Kamameshi. Gahdamn, I love their beef teriyaki. Went home after that around 2 or 3ish & recovered for the rest of the day til Joel woke me up to have dinner at 8. Got ready &then we went to BJs. Then, I got dropped off at Ju's to meet up w/ the weekenders. We didn't really know what to do so then we went to some party in the Eastbay. I must've taken 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10..shots?I lost count but whatever. Shit was pretty fun, I must admit. We all went to Arujo's after then home.

&now it's Sunday and I'm writing this blog right now because I'm still lightweight drunk and I can't sleep. The past few weekends were pretty crazy but I think this tops all of them. Why can't all weekends be like this?

I think I'll try to sleep one more time. Goodnight.

superstar..

Let me just say that this weekend was very EVENTFUL. (:

Friday; I went to the club w/ the weekenders minus Bradley. ): We all missed him dearly as you can tell by our aways. The club was coo but tell me why there were hella people there, tho? Like it felt like a motha fuckin sauna up in there. Yeah, that was kind of gross. Then, we ate at Denny's and killed the bottles. Haha, we don't waste.

Saturday; It was Juju's birthday so after we all recovered from the previous night, around 8pm the next day, we got ready for part2. Tell me why we had hella options that night? We decided to kick it at Joel's and brought over some Nuvo & fat ass bottle of Bacardi. I think I can say that Nuvo is my new favorite bitch drink even though it tastes like pink lemonade with like a drop of alcohol in it. Seriously though, I forgot how much of a creeper Bacardi is because after the the table dancing portion of the night, I blanked out for a good moment and then next thing I knew..I was chillen in some bath tub?! Then I remember getting up and drinking some more. What a fucking night.

Sunday; I got home from the party around 6am? And went to sleep for a good 2 and a half hours til I had to get ready for work. I got to work at 10 and my manager sent me home hella early cause she knew what was up. Haha! I can't even explain how happy I was to get sent home.

I'm so ready for this weekend.

g... double O... D - GOOD

Another day, another blog.

So, going to school was a complete waste because I didn't get to makeup shit. Haha. I sat in History class listening to my teacher talk about this book he's reading, like that's suppose to help me fuckin understand US History. I swear, he should just have a class named after him because I've only been learning about his life. Left a little after class was over & got food w/ Downie. I don't know, I wasn't myself this morning. I guess I was just mad cause I feel as if work and school take over my life. Then, I realized that I'm too fuckin selfish. Hahaa. There should always be a balance between work&play. & lately, it's just been about PLAY.

I went to work for the first time in awhile, awhile meaning 3 days. Yes, that's awhile for me now. Of course, work was slow as hell & I just so happen to get 8hr shifts when no customers come in. So, I sat at the desk making paper planes. Hella drama later on that night tho. Gahdd, work is so full of drama.

&now I'm at home, 3 hours later..

I should be studying for my midterms but I'm letting my brain rest. I'll probably just wakeup really early in the am, tmo. Hah.like that's gonna work tho. Wing it? I think I must.

just can't find the words..

&this is exactly why I love blogging..

Coz I get to keep track of the stupid shit I do & look back at it a few years after.

Yes, I found my old Xanga.

Xanga.com/alley3s0nme

just can't find the words..

&this is exactly why I love blogging..

Coz I get to keep track of the stupid shit I do & look back at it a few years after.

Yes, I found my old Xanga.

Xanga.com/alley3s0nme

just like me..

So, everyone is migrating to tumblr coz it's cooler. I think I'll stick to blogspot for now because I'm too lazy to make another account.

So, my face is getting back to normal. Finally, right? Yeah, I probably overreacted over the past few days but shit, who wouldn't freak out if they woke up one day and looked like fuckin Shamu? Yes, it was hard for me to deal, physically and emotionally. Haha, but yes..the swelling has greatly reduced and my nose is just really red. I should be fine by this weekend.

You know what I hate about being sick besides aches and not being able to taste food? I hate being restricted to my own room, and I'm so not used to being home. Let me tell you, though. You get a lot of thinking done when you're stuck at home for 2 1/2 days straight.

I thought about my mommy and daddy and how I miss being taken care of. I thought about my friends and how all of us have changed even in the smallest form. I thought about school and what I'm doing with my life. I thought about past relationships, and what I did or didn't do to make it not work.

Yeah, I thought about some pretty deep shit. I don't know, maybe it's was the meds talking. I was pretty high off the painkillers.

At least it's Wednesday tomorrow. I need to party my ass off this weeekend.

&I promise this shit is legit..

This weekend was..something else.

We went clubbing two nights in a row on Thursday&Friday. Almost got into a fight on Thursday over some dumb shit. Abyss was coo, though. Different crowd.

Friday; That was prolly the highlight of my weekend. Went to the pink party with the weekenders + Debb&Marvelene. Yes, my girls actually came out w/ me. Chilled at Randy's after as usual and drank some more. Crazy ass night.

Saturday; That's when I started hella downing. -_- I spent the whole day recovering in my bed and theni worked that 5 to 9 shift. I don't think I've ever not want to be at work that bad, ever. Ugh. Yeah, work was all bad. I don't know how they did it but my weekenders managed to get me outta bed and made me kill the Bacardi. Yeah, that wasn't so smart.

Why? Coz today is Sunday and I feel completely shitty. My face is numb, I have a headache and I'm hurting all over. I think I might even have to go to the hospital. "/ hopefully I get better by this Friday.

Insomnia

Yeah, it's 2am right now and I should really be sleeping because I have school at 8. I don't know, I was half asleep but then I just felt the sudden urge to blog.

You know how after high school, people tell you "life is different after high school, everyone goes their separate ways", and you look at them like they're crazy? Yeah, I didn't believe in those people before but now that I think about it..those people were right. I don't hang out with the same people as before except for some people and I wonder to myself sometimes, what happened? I don't want to blame anyone because I don't think it's anyone's fault to begin with. I think after high school, you really do just do you. I sometimes miss how things used to be but then again, I wouldn't trade what I have right now for the world. I'm right where I need to be.

I love my friends&family.

coz I know that a brother got needs tonight..

I think I spent the most time on homework today, ever since this semester started. That's what I fuckin get for procrastinating. -_- I spent this whole day reading a book which is partially a love story just to find out that the girl and the guy don't end up together. I'm kind of disappointed, and my eyes hurt like hell.

Yeah, I didn't go to class, again, but foreal this time, I'm not goinna slack off anymore. I had a talk with my teachers today and I'm not too far behind. I just have to catch up with the reading to maintain my good grades.

Why does this week seem to be going hella slow? It's only Wednesday tomorrow, and I'm already stressing out. Well, at least there's no school tomorrow. I'm working that death shift, though. -_-

Weekend, hurry up.

might as well give me a kiss, if we keep touching like this..

Ok, so last night most definitely made up for the night before. We went to Anthony's party in San Jo & I must say that I was impressed. &it takes a whole lot to impress the fuck out of me. Haa, I felt like I was in a club. So, someone clogged the toilet and then the party was over. I looked at my watch and I was like, "wtf? It's 3?". Hella forgot about daylight savings, bruh.

Then after that we cut then headed over to Joel's. All I remember is finishing off the bottle of Chivas Regal & some table dancing.

My goodness, I need more nights like this.

MOLLYWOP! Hahaa.

coz when you was down & out, I was still around..

So, what exactly happened last night? Don't ask me. I'm trying to forget.

These past weeks have been rough on me, and for once, I was happy to have all my girls and my boys with me. I don't know, things don't ever work in my favor anymore. It sucks. Maybe it's a sign that I should move back to Vegas. The thought is scary but I feel I should be there more than I should be here. School is getting to me, work sucks, the party scene is getting old, and the list goes on..I honestly don't know if I'm just downing hella bad or what? But this feeling sucks. I hate it.

sweat pants, hair tied, chillen w/ no makeup on.

I swear, time goes by hella fast now that I practically work every day. It's the same routine every day - school, work til the weekend, then party my ass off. Then, it's a new week all over again.

It's funny how I set so many goals at the beginning of the school semester but I never follow through w/ plans. I do so good in like my ...first 3 weeks? And then I just begin not to care as much. School is just so pointless at times. Like seriously, I don't even have time for anything anymore.

I love it how when I see people whom I haven't seen in awhile ask me "so, how's the club life?" as their first question. Like geez, not even a "how are you?" and clubbing isn't all I do. I actually work, go to school, and support myself, thank you. The club and the party life is just where I release my physical and emotional stress out.

This weekend should be interesting.

Tell me what they know about my love..

Today was good to me. My first class went by hella fast then I went to go eat at Denny's with Debb. My last class was cancelled, and I was kinna mad cause I actually did my homework this time. -_- I went to work right after and it was a chill ass day. It's definitely becoming more demanding than ever, and at times I must admit that it gets pretty stressful but I've learned how to deal with pressure like this. After work, I bought some speakers and stuff for myself. Well, shit, I gotta spoil myself, too.

I still can't help but feel incomplete at times. Slowly picking up myself day by day. Baby steps.

swing my way..

So, I'm really writing this blog entry at 6am, tho. -_-

Today was a good day, I must admit. My first class was cancelled, I had some Sprinkles cupcakes, and work wasn't that boring. Can I just say that Sprinkles is fuckin crackin?

Work has become more challenging. I kind of like it, though, because I love a challenge. It keeps me active but It's going to take a hell of a lot of getting used to.

Last weekend was crazy, though. Never again. I'm soo ready for this weekend.

don't tiptoe around my feelings..

Today must have been the laziest day of my life because I for real didn't do SHIT! I woke up around 1ish, ate, watched the Sex&the City DVDs, slept, listened to my music, slept, ate dinner, read a magazine, then slept, again. I guess it's okay to take a personal day once in awhile. I just hate the feeling of being unproductive, though.

Today kind of made me feel better. How I felt went I came home this morning was the worst, and I didn't stop crying until this evening. My eyes are so swollen that I can barely open them. The worst is over, though.

Oh, and you know that I'm going to miss you. The good times at least. Seriously though, when the bad outweighs the good, why would I even want that for myself? I'm too grown to play that kiddie shit. So, I thought long and hard last night..and I hate how I've been acting because of this. Hella falling behind school, slacking off at work, droppin' them other dudes just for YOU. I'M GONNA MISS YOU, but I MISSED MYSELF more.

P.S. I'm too independent for yo ass, anyways.

Wondering why I let it get the best of me...when I gave the best of me..

Emo blog but whatever..

I could really use some cheering up right now. I haven't felt this down since..I can't even remember? I've probably been through worse shit but for some reason, this is just getting to me hella bad.

I guess it's just everything summed up. Maybe that's why I feel this way. School's been challenging, work has been stressful, and on top of this shit that I gotta handle..this just had to happen. I thought crying would make it go away but the more I do..the more I just wanna break down.

And you, if I can't even depend on you to be there for me as a friend..then how the hell am I supposed to see you as anything more? Don't trip about me now though, you should've been doing that from the get. Kick rocks.

Best I ever had...

So, I woke up this morning and I was still drunk. -_-

Yesterday, I had school and I was supposed to leave early to go to Haight but luckily that guy from my class saved my ass & reminded me that we had a test today. Then, I met up a friend to go to Haight. Can't believe I didn't buy anything, tho. Went to Structure then met up Jency&Lumz to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. Yes, it was my third time watching it. I hella love that movie. After that, we went to Whisper. I'd tell you what happened..but I don't remember much. Haha. It was pretty fun tho. Then, we headed over to Randy's and chilled there. Crackin night. Now, it's time to catch up on sleep.

I finally did it. Yes, goodbye brown hair and hello light brown/blonde hair.

T.G.I.F

How the hell do you spend $300 at Vicky Secret? Well, that's exactly what I did today. I gotta spoil myself somtimes, too. (:

Today was a pretty productive day. I went to all my classes, turned in my essay, did my taxes, worked the closing shift & cleaned w/ the roomies. I think that's the most work I've ever accomplished in a day..ever.

Things I'm giving up for LENT:
*slacking off
*using my credit cards
*red velvet cupcakes ):

No eating meat today, guys. See y'all at the endless salad bar at Sizzlers.

I should really be sleeping right now.

It's about 3:26a & I have to wake up for school in about 3 hrs. I think I'm gonna have to pull an all - nighter. What's there to do this early anyways?
Hm, maybe I'll go to Denny's and order a Grand Slam.

Today was ehh. I overslept so I missed my first class, forgot to study for my HIST 432 class (not really, I was just being lazy) so I BOMBED that, went to church for Ash Wednesday, and I took like a 4 hr nap when I got home which is why I'm up at 3:30a writing this thing. Damn, I need to get my shit together, foreal. Seriously this time, no more slacking off and no more partying. Actually, who are we kidding. Maybe I'll just cut down on partying. Hey, it's a start. (:

Oh, and why do I still blog? Coz according to Nate, I like to put my life's story on my away messages so I figured, I might as well go into detail. I have to update the fans somehow.